Guide to Keeping Your Relationship Fresh

Ahhh, the “honeymoon stages” of a relationship, how many of us remember those days? Getting excited just to see your partner’s name pop up on your phone, talking to the wee hours of the morning like you both don’t have to be up early the next day, calling your girlfriends the moment you step in to the house to tell them every single detail of date night with your new boo! The list goes on and on. Good times! The excitement of a new relationship can have you feeling like you’re constantly living on cloud nine. But as we all know, that can be a very short-lived stage. Believe it or not, keeping the spark alive doesn’t just happen on its own. You have to be intentional about keeping things exciting and fresh. Careers, kids, and life in general happen…then you look up and realize that you two have been going through the motions of the same boring routine for the past 10 years. You may be thinking “girl you’ve only been married 2.5 years” lol. But not only did Bryan and I enter the marriage with one child each (making us a family of FOUR immediately), we built our first home 3 months after getting married (giving us the pressures of a mortgage), we also got pregnant about 7 months after getting married (added a third kid in the mix), whoops! Looking back, of course, we wouldn’t change a thing. All the chaos just forced us to be intentional about keeping our marriage a priority from day one.

In the end, do not let the stressors of life get in the way of you and your partner having a beautiful and fulfilling marriage. Life is already stressful enough, marriage gives you a lifetime best friend to go through the journey with. There’s no reason why you and your boo shouldn’t constantly be “drunk in love.” It’s definitely possible. Here’s some steps to keep your relationship fresh and exciting:

1. Continue Dating Each Other

Most relationships start with a ton of dates. That’s how you get to know each other in the early stages. After a while, especially with young children, date nights often turn in to “let’s just relax tonight and watch a movie together” which ends up in both of you falling asleep at 9pm on a Friday night! Trust me, we’ve been there numerous of times. If you have to, schedule quality time together and be sure to be strict about it. Kid free time together is so crucial for recharging a marriage. If you don’t have local babysitters there’s websites like Care.com where you can find babysitters in your area. If you don’t have any extra money to spend towards dinner and having to pay for a babysitter on top of that, be intentional about spending time together once the kids are all sleep. One thing that works wonders for Bryan and I is to find a show on Netflix that we both enjoy. Every single night we’ll watch an episode together while cuddling on the couch. Even if we aren’t intimate that night it, forces us to embrace each other and spend some kid free quality time together.

2. Take a Vacation Together

Never underestimate the power of a romantic escape with your boo! Whether you spend 2 weeks at luxury resort in Thailand or spend one night in a 3-star hotel for a staycation in your current city. There’s nothing like packing your bags and getting away from your daily environment with just the two of you. You’ll come home all giddy like two teenagers in love and feel recharged. In my marriage, our goal is to take an annual anniversary trip.

3. Be Spontaneous

Switch up your regular routine every now and then. This can be trying a new restaurant instead of the same one you two go to every other weekend. Do something new together that neither of you have done before. Surprise your spouse with a spontaneous date night on a Tuesday. Doesn’t matter what it is, just break outside of your normal routine every now and then. This keeps things exciting and never too predictable.

4. Look Good For One Another

Simply put, keep yourself together. Eat right and workout. Don’t get me wrong, being able to be completely comfortable with your spouse is a wonderful thing. I love the fact that my hubby loves me makeup free with my head scarf and robe on. He’s also celebrates the extra pounds I’ve put on from giving him children. But I can’t get enough of his reactions when I walk out of the bathroom for date night looking like the hottie he asked to marry him years ago. Side note: even during the week, don’t have your husband coming home to his grandma Monday through Friday. Put on your sexy robe, put a little lip gloss on, and have your hair cute one night out the week at least! Just a little effort in this regard goes a long way. Especially with men, they are naturally visual/physical beings. This step applies to both parties too! (If any fellas are reading…come home with a fresh haircut and watch her eyes light up)

5. Leave Room to Miss One Another

Spend some time apart. You wouldn’t expect this step right? But it’s true. Whether it’s a fishing trip with the guys or a girl’s weekend in New Orleans. Either way, it gives both spouses a chance to miss one another. This is a great way to keep things fresh. It reminds you how much you actually enjoy each other’s presence. Sometimes you never what you got until it’s gone, even if it’s just for a few days, haha!

As cliché as it sounds, life is short. Don’t take it for granted. Make it the best possible life together possible. With all the billions of people in the world, some type of way you two ended up together. Appreciate and cherish one another. Never stop letting your spouse know that you’re grateful for them. Forgive quickly and never stop fighting for your marriage. Happy and fun marriages are possible. If you’ve lost the spark in your relationship, with just a little effort you can reignite the passion. It’s so worth the effort! You got this! I pray this helps you guys in some type of way.

As Always…Love you all,

Courtney N. Williams