How we Navigate our Beautifully Blended Family

If you’ve been a follower of mine or my blog for a while, then you already know that I have a beautifully blended family. But for the people that are new here, I’ll tell you a little bit more about my family. I was a single mom to a daughter for a few years before meeting my now husband. My husband was also a father of one to a son before we got married. I have been married a little over 3 years now and have added two more daughters to our family. So now we are a big beautifully blended family of SIX! God is good! I’m pretty much an open book when it comes to our blended family. I share so much on this topic because these days 1 out of 3 Americans are in some type of blended family. So it’s something that needs to be talked about. Our family isn’t perfect by any means, we don’t have everything figured out, but we are proud to be able to show that blended families CAN be successful, drama free, with double the love! My husband and I both truly operate as if we both have 4 children. Not 3 kids and a step-child.

One of the downsides to sharing so much, especially in a social media setting, is that it’s pretty much impossible to fully let people in on your life with just 2×2 squares and a caption…even with me being so open and transparent. Which therefore leaves room for people to fill in the gaps with whatever assumptions or opinions they have on their own. While this typically doesn’t bother me, when it comes to my family, I like to be very clear on things.

Most recently, since welcoming our newest addition Baby Camille, I’ve gotten “where is your son” quite often…because he wasn’t in any of my pictures right after the baby coming home. Like I literally would get this question on almost every picture of me and my daughters. As if I would just have my son sitting somewhere on the sidelines watching me and my girls take all these pictures and he not be included. Come on people lol! But I get that people are just curious and feel entitled to such questions with me being so open in regards to my family.

The dynamics of blended families vary from family to family. We all have to get used to our new normal and make the best of our own situations. I figured I’d let you guys in on how our blended family works in hopes to address any questions you guys may have.

One of the biggest things that makes our blended family unique is that our son lives with his mom in a completely different state from my husband and I. This is probably the toughest part of our blended family. It really limits us because it’s an almost 6 hour drive, therefore, it’s not a drive that we can just hop up at any time and make. Our son is also school aged, he is in the second grade. So that limits us even more due to us having to schedule time with him around his school schedule. The way that we’ve worked this out is we alternate Thanksgiving and Christmas with his mom each year, we get him every spring break, and he comes and spends the entire summer with us every year. This is why there’s waves of Deuce constantly being in the pictures I post and not being in them. The distance is too far for us to try and swing something like an every other weekend type set up, which is what I have worked out with my daughter’s dad.

Carrington’s dad lives in the same city as us, so she is able to visit him every other weekend. I also alternate holidays each year with her dad. We have it setup to where we have both of our older kids on the same holiday each year. If you are in a similar situation as us, we know this component of blended families can be tough, not all being together 24/7. This is why we are sure to make the best of out every moment we are together. Technology is also a huge help! We are able to FaceTime our son daily. My husband prays with him every morning and every night and even helps with homework virtually every day. It’s such a blessing to witness how close my husband and our son are, despite the distance.

Could we sit around and think about how much easier life would be if we neither of us never had children out of wedlock? Or how easy it would be if we had all of our children together and didn’t have to share with another family? Sure! But what good what that do and what would that change? Nothing! Instead, I thank God for a second chance on love. For a second chance to do things His way. For a second chance to have the family I’ve always wanted, with a present spouse to raise my children with. God took two messy situations and worked it out for our good. That’s why we give Him all the glory. We’ve now been able to show people all over the world that blended families can thrive.

If you’re in a similar situation but struggling with the thought of having a nontraditional family, I suggest that you release whatever fears, guilt, shame, or even resentment you have to God. He is more than capable of blowing your mind with what he has in store for you and your child/ren. I’m a living witness. My life is SO much more fulfilling now compared to what I thought I wanted in the past. Hang in there. You guys got this! I’m rooting for you all and constantly praying for you guys. Feel free to share how you all make your blended families work below!

As Always…Love you All,

Courtney N. Williams